Hebi and Eboshi
by GefahrlicheWege
Summary: Anko assigns herself and a reluctant Ebisu to protect the border and some things are some bound to happen, Anko/Ebisu, Slight ShikaTema, NaruHina, SuiKa. Rating wil go up.
1. Chapter 1

I realized that there's never any Ebisu/Anko, so i made one. yay! ShikaTema and others are going to be thrown in for good measure, but not for a while.

Disclaime: I do not own naruto

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Mitarashi Anko sat on the roof of her Konoha apartment, a dango stick stuck firmly between her teeth. Chewing on it absentmindedly, she stared out onto the crowded streets of the Village Hidden in the Leaves from her perch.

"Tch, how boring." the purple haired kunoichi said, throwing the dango stick over her shoulder, not caring where it landed.

Suddenly, a familiar glasses-wearing ninja caught her eyes.

"Heh, I think it's time I take a visit to dear Ebisu-kun." she said, to herself, snickering in her signature crazy laugh.

Making her way off the rooftop, the former Orchimaru student landed gracefully in front of a very surprised Ebisu.

"Anko?" He asked, surprised at her sudden appearance.

"Omaesan(1) Ebisu-kun!" Anko said happily, throwing an arm around the other ninja and punching him roughly on his shoulder.

Ebisu flinched and glared at her through his dark glasses.

"Can I help you?"

"Say, where are your brats?" Anko asked, noticing that his 3 genin where nowhere around. "Did you finally snap and kill the little snots?"

"Nani! Iiya!(2) How dare you say such a thing about the honorable grandson and my students!" Ebisu cried at her while Anko rolled her eyes. "I gave them the day off today."

"Tame(3), then you're free." Anko said, her eyes narrowing at the ninja.

"What makes you think that, Anko." Ebisu asked, raising his eyebrows. "I'm on my way to see Godaime."

Anko frowned for a moment, then smiled.

"I'll come with you then, I need a good mission to drown out my boredom."

"Anko." Ebisu growled annoyed. "Is there a reason you're bothering me?"

"Hai. I'm bored. Plus, it's been so long since we've talked , Ebisu-kun."

"Tch, stop calling me that." He said annoyed.

"Oh, gomen" Anko cried sarcastically. "I meant to say Ebisu-sensei."

Ebisu shot her a glare through his glasses then continued to walk towards the Hokage's building, Anko still with her arm around his shoulders.

"So, what's new?" Anko asked him, grinning at him with a her deranged smile.

"Nothing." Ebisu said impatiently, begging to Kami-sama that Anko would get off him.

"Tch, well you're just so talkative today aren't we?" Anko said sarcastically, looking hungrily at the dango vendor nearby.

"Hm." Ebisu snorted, as they finally reached the Hokage building and entering inside.

"So why are you going to the Hokage's office anyway?" Anko wondered.

"I was summoned. " Ebisu said shortly.

When they arrived outside the Hokage's door, Ebisu turned to glare at her.

"You can get off me now." he said.

Anko raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"Am I making you uncomfortable Ebisu-kun?" she said slyly getting closer to his face.

Ebisu's inner perv was instantly activated and his nose started to bleed.

"No." he said, as if nothing had happened, shoving his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Anko continued to stare at him, her eyebrows raised and her unnerving grin plastered over her face.

After 30 seconds of sheer awkwardness, Ebisu turned away from her and pounded on the door.

"Come in." Tsunade's voice rang.

Anko leaned back and kicked the door off it's hindges.

Ebisu was having a conniption and was staring at the purple haired woman in shock.

"OMAESAN! Tsunade-sama!" Anko cried loudly, grabbing Ebisu in a headlock and running inside the office.

A tired looking Tsunade glared at her while Shizune looked as if she was going to have a heart attack.

"Anko-san!" Shizune cried in distress. "Why did you do that!"

"Oh, hey Shizune." Anko said, noticing Shizune and waving a her friend with her free hand.

"Anko-san!" Shizune cried at her. "Why on earth did you do that?!"

"I wanted to make my entrance a bang!" Anko said, rather proud of herself. Ebisu was still in shock and was still in Anko's headlock.

"You will pay for a new door." Tsunade glared at her.

"Hai, hai, Tsunade-sama." Anko said passively.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Tsunade asked. "I sent a summon for Ebisu but not for you."

"Well Tsunade-sama, I thought that I would accompany dear Ebisu-kun here and maybe I would be assigned a mission." she sighed. "I'm extremely bored."

Tsunade sighed. She had expected as much from Anko.

"I needed Ebisu to patrol the borders. I'm short on ninja. You're welcome to assist him if you wish Anko."

"NO!" Ebisu cried, looking up. "Hokage-sama, I beg of you. Don't let her go."

Anko knocked him on the head.

"Don't be silly, Ebisu-kun, you love working with me." she looked at Tsunade. "Arigato, Tsunade-sama!" She yelled. And without another word, threw the miserable-looking Ebisu over her shoulder and jumped out the large window, heading for the border.

"Tch," Anko said, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. "I hope something exciting happens. It's been awhile since something fun happened."

She grinned to herself. Today was gonna be fun.

To be continued……

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so whatcha think? Next chapter will be up soon. I'm about to bring in the akatsuki. btw, this story is going to be rather long so bear with me .

(1) Hey

(2) What! No!

(3) Good


	2. Old Nicknames and New intruders

Chapter number zwei

This one's longer, hopefully I can scoop up some reviews with this one.

R&R bitte!

Disclaimer: i do not own Naruto

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Upon reaching the top of the lookout tower that looked directly out on the border, Anko dropped Ebisu onto the floor.

"Oi, Ebisu-kun, I got us here." she grinned at the man. "And in record time no less." She snickered to herself then looked around the seemingly empty lookout.

"Oi!" she called out. 'Is anyone here?!"

Loud snores answered her.

"Nani?" Anko asked, spying a black-haired chunin leaning back on a hair with his hands behind his head, apparently asleep.

"Tch." Anko huffed. Then with one swift kick, sent the chair tumbling over backwards and revealing a drowsy Nara Shikamaru.

"Huh?" he asked, half-awake.

Anko picked him up by the collar of his chunin vest and held him above at arm's length.

"Hey kid, don't you know that you're not supposed to fall asleep on the job?"

Shikamaru yawned.

"It's too troublesome to stay awake." he responded, sounding bored.

"Well, if you're so bored, then you can go to town and fetch me and Ebisu-kun here some dango." Anko said waspishly, dropping the Nara boy on the ground.

Ebisu finally raised himself off of the floor and dusted himself off.

"Nara Shikamaru, right?" He asked the shadow wielder.

"Yep, that's me." Shikamaru responded, examining Anko closely.

"Hey! You're that crazy proctor at the chunin exams 3 years ago!" he yelled in surprise.

Anko grinned psychotically at him, pulling a kunai out of her sleeve and pressing it against his throat.

"That's right." she said, venom dripping off her words.

Shikamaru flinched. _'"Sheesh. This woman is crazy!"_

Lucky for Shikamaru, Ebisu grabbed Anko arm and yanked it back.

"Honestly, Anko!" he said, adjusting his glasses.

Anko stuck her tongue out at him.

"Anyway, you're _technically _relived of your duties." The purple haired woman smirked. "On the other hand, I _am_ your superior, so as punishment for your failing at your duties, you will go to town and get me some dango."

He yawned again, and gave Anko a look that plainly wished death.

"So troublesome." he murmured, slowly standing up and shooting a glare at both of them.

With one last yawn, he jumped over the railing and headed towards town.

Ebisu looked incredulously at his 'teammate' as she sat comfortably herself comfortably in the chair.

"Honestly, what is wrong with you?" Ebisu asked seriously at her.

"Me?" Anko asked innocently. "Nothing, Ebisu-kun."

Ebisu scoffed.

Not only was he stuck with the craziest kunoichi in the whole village, but he had to put up with her ridiculous and psychotic antics, most of which involved blackmail or dango.

"Honestly, you're worse than my three genin combined." Ebisu murmured.

"Yea, well, at least I'm exciting." Anko grinned at him.

"Is that what you call it?" Ebisu said nastily.

"Yep." she responded cheerily.

He shot a glare at the back of her head and threw her a nasty hand gesture.

"I saw that." she said sharply.

Ebisu wondered how but the answer was brought about quick as he saw the familiar brownish grey snake, slithered around Anko's neck, no doubt telling his master what the jonin was doing behind her back.

"Well, you certainly live up to the name 'Hebi Otome." Snake child.

"Yea, I've been told." she said passively.

Ebisu gaped at the back of her head.

How could she just shake off his insults like it was nothing? I mean, he was sure she was used to it. Ebisu hadn't always been the _nicest _ninja to her. Okay, he had been one of the worst. Especially when she came back from Orchimaru. He looked back on his pre-teen years guiltily, but he shook his head and shrugged it off. It wasn't just him. It was the entire village. Their treatment of the 'snake child' was almost as worse as Naruto's and he was the freaking _demon host _for Christ's sake. Still, the young Anko turned her head to the insults and ill will and had grown into on of the strongest kunoichi in the village. That didn't mean she gained their respect however. The only respect she got other from the Hokage, Shizune or one of her other few friends was out of fear. Fear that she too would be like her demonic former sensei and host experiments on children and innocents. Even in her beloved dango shop, the owner looked warily at her and gave her anything she wanted. Quickly and quietly, careful not to offend to her in any way for fear of being sliced to pieces, or fed to her pet snake. Ebisu sighed. He had learned his lesson with Naruto and now looked at him not as the Host of the Nine-tailed fox, but as a person. That was all thanks to one of his students, Konohamau. His stomach twisted uncomfortably as he realized that he still saw Anko as the snake child and felt repulsed at the thought that she even resembled the Snake Sanin slightly. Ebisu felt sick. He really didn't want to be around her anymore. 30 minutes a day was too exhausting. He'd better apologize.

Anko twitched slightly when he brought up her foul nickname. 'snake child.' Sheesh, you would think that the villagers would have come up with a more original name. But no, she had to put up with that garbage since she was 13 years old. She sighed heavily. She was used to these petty insults by now, but only when Ebisu said them did it actually touch a cord. It bothered her. Why was he so god damn mean to her all the time. What annoyed her further is that she had no idea _why _it bothered her. It was just Ebisu. Pervy, serious, boring Ebisu, and yet she gritted her teeth and clenched her fists when he insulted her. It actually _hurt _. Why did it do that? She furrowed her brow while contemplating it. She never got angry when some random villager whispered awful rumors about her, or called out that damn nickname at her. Not that anyone would. They were all afraid of her. Maybe that was it. He actually had the balls to insult her to her face. Nobody, not even Kakashi did that, even if it was all in good humor. That must be it, she decided to herself. That's why it bothered her. She grinned to herself, forgetting momentarily about the insult.

"Ne, Anko?" Ebisu said.

"Hm?"

"Sorry about that." He said quietly.

Anko had a sharp intake of breath. Well _that_ was unexpected. She didn't respond. Maybe he's bipolar. She thought to herself.

"No, really, I am." Ebisu said seriously.

Anko shrugged, playing it cool.

"Ok. It wasn't like I was bothered or anything." she lied smoothly. "It's just some stupid nickname."

Ebisu raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Hm." he responded. "I thought-"

"You don't do _that_ much do you?" she snapped timidly. "I said I was fine." Sheesh, this mission was getting a little boring…and a little emotional. Both which were things that Anko hated.

Ebisu just stared at her. She could feel his eyes burning into the back of her head.

"I used to have an obnoxious nickname too." He started conversationally.

"Thrilling." Anko snorted, but turned to head to look at him slightly.

He gave her a face of annoyance.

"No, really, I did."

"What was it?" she asked, curious.

"It's preposterous really." Ebisu said, wishing he had never brought it up.

"Oh, no, Ebisu-kun." Anko said excitedly, now standing in front of him and getting a little too close to his face. "You brought it up, I wanna hear it."

Ebisu sighed. "Fine, it was '_Kazaori Eboshi'."_

Anko frowned.

"'Tall hat"?" she asked incredulously. "What kind of ridiculous nickname is THAT?"

Ebisu's frowned deepened.

"You know I'm named after the god of fortune, Ebisu, right?"

"Uh-huh." Anko nodded.

"Well, legend has it that the god Ebisu always wore a tall hat, otherwise known as a Kazaori Eboshi. So when I was at the academy, the other children used to call me that."

"How unoriginal." Anko said, reminded of her own nickname.

"Indeed." Ebisu said, relieved that she hadn't antagonized him about it.

"I like it!"

"What!" Ebisu yelped.

"Yes, it's cute. Although it's a little long. I'll think I'll just call you Eboshi."

"Anko, don't-"

Anko shoved her hand over his mouth.

"Oh c'mon I won't tell anyone." she said unconvincingly. "It'll be like…" she paused then grinned at him. "Pet names."

Ebisu almost died right then and there.

And That's when the smoke bomb went off about a hundred yards away from the tower.

Anko stood up immediately and Ebisu tensed at the sight.

"What was that?"

"I don't have a clue." he responded quickly. "Intruders?"

They both focused their eyes on the direction from where the smoke had come.

Ebisu's question was answered quickly.

7 large cloaked figures were dashing through the treetops at high speeds.

"They must have taken out the ninjas surrounding the border on!" Ebisu yelled. So that's what the smoke was for. It was a flare to sound the alarm. Ebisu's heart stopped as he recognized the red clouds on the black cloaks. "Akatsuki." he murmured.

Anko smiled. Finally some fun.

"Are there radios here?" she asked Ebisu.

"Hai, I'll get it."

"Good. Get a hold of the Hokage or ANBU and tell her that we have 7 Akatsuki intruders. All S-class heading towards the village."

Ebisu nodded and spoke through the radio.

"Hai, hai, yes of course. Understood." he spoke, then turned to Anko.

"Our orders?"

"Destroy them before they reach the village."

Anko smirked at Ebisu.

"Well of course." she said and both she and Ebisu jumped over the railing, blocking the missing nins path to Konoha.

"You ready, Eboshi-kun?" Anko asked him, both hands equipped with multiple kunai and senbon, her gaze hardened on the upcoming opponents.

Ebisu had to grin at his old nickname. It didn't sound so bad when she said it.

Grinning he shoved his glasses back up his nose and gave the purple haired woman a large grin.

"But if course, Hebi-chan."

Surprisingly, Anko grinned back

* * *

Anko:This story is ridiculous, you're setting up a romance between Characters that don't even talk to each other!

Ebisu: Indeed *fixes glasses*

myself: would you two shut up!

Shikamaru and Temari: Where's our romance, ne?

Naruto and Hinata: and ours!?

Suigetsu and Karin: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU PLAN TO PUT US TOGETHER!? WE"RE NOT EVEN COMPATIBLE!

Myself: geez, whats with all the caps and angry couples! I'll get to you in my own good time!

Push the button that says review and you'll get a delectable cupcake!


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